went climbing at nus today with cher. i seriously thought i had improved a little bit since i last came back.but everytime i go back into climbing..it never fails to somehow flash a warning light at how lousy i am now.. and its quite depressing to try so hard but not get any results. maybe im just not trying hard enough.
but its still rocks so much...whenever there is a problem and everyone works hard on it..its super cool to hear people cheer on you and one another to try to finish it. i miss that feeling. and im glad i have that opportunity to feel it again cuz i doubt i will feel it again when i go back to that study hell-hole-no-life-days..
but after climbing..i was supposed to meet up with ching see to go home with her.but her lecture ended early at 5pm so she left b4. so i went to meet winnie whom i haven met for like ages.
and boy is she beautiful now with long huge curls and blonde highlights... accentuated with her radical fashion style and large bangling earrings. she really is different from the past.
winnie mentioned that i still looked the same since jc. i guess i have never really blossomed.. ive haven changed much either..
hmm..
this tells me that i have to change..for the better man!
and oh.. at the dance tea ceremony .. it was like every guy there was super hot.. *drools* and the girls ther... super slim..tall.hot...sexy..you name it man.. they rock.
i look at myself after ive climbed.. i was in shorts filled with chalk marks..my hands aching and radiately and red swell.. my shirt old and ragged.. my face MAKE-UP-less. damn.. i was fucking ugly. haha..
so i sat there watching the seniors and 3 hot hunky-really-gd-hip-hoppers dance their way thru the crowd
and i thought
this will be the kind of life i will never get. this is the kind of life i will never fit. this is the kind of life i can never feel or touch...but only see.
the glamour and lime-light.
if i had choose a different route in my life. i could be there.
but i choose this path. the only place for me now are the hospitals.
still..
i have to keep fighting to fit in that path that i choose.
i guess fitting in is never really about being fitted but its the trying to fit part that sucks like hell.
